10 Things I’ve Learned About Love

The person you’re meant to be with will alleviate any doubt. They won’t ever make you question yourself of your love. It will just be right. Plain and simple. It will feel right all over. Your gut, intuition, and mind will all align perfectly with theirs. They’ll be there to catch you when you fall and will try to relieve your embarrassment from tripping in the first place. They’ll be the first face you see at the finish line, beaming with pride for being your partner in all the good, the bad and even the mediocre. Because let’s be honest. Some days are just average. But that’s all good, because true love isn’t just about seeing fireworks or having “big” plans. It’s also about having a partner you just genuinely enjoy being around. Even if it means laying in bed together all day, overdosing on Netflix and eating fistfuls of popcorn (because there is no other “right” way to eat popcorn)…

Here are 10 things I’ve learned about love in my lifetime:

  1. If you have to wonder, then it’s not right. If you’re committing yourself to someone, you should never feel unsure about the love you share.
  2. Love should be easy. If it’s too hard to get along, then don’t force it. As hard as it may be, you have to accept that it’s just not right.
  3. In a relationship, compromise is crucial. But you never want to compromise who you are or what you value as important.
  4. Relationships take lots and lots of work, but one person should never have to work harder than the other. There should always be equilibrium in this aspect of the relationship. But the balance of give and take is tough to master.
  5. If you’re ready to be with someone, you’ll show it in many forms. And if you’re not ready, you’ll make that quite apparent as well. Really register the signs. They are very important to digest. Avoiding them will only make it more painful in the end.
  6. Love is supposed to lift you up, not bring you down.
  7. A strong relationship takes selflessness. But it’s ok because each of you always has the other’s back and you strive to do what’s in each other’s best interest. So it’s like you were never sacrificing yourself to begin with.
  8. If they make you cry and do not care to understand why or to help make it better, then you should leave.
  9. If you find yourself making excuses for something they do that you don’t support, you’re not with the right person.
  10. Negotiation is a natural part of a relationship, so if you are not willing to compromise, with a smile on your face, then you shouldn’t be in one.

 

Everyone loves differently. But if you’re going to be with someone, you have to be willing to understand and exemplify the needs of your significant other. If you are unwilling or unable to meet those needs, then it simply won’t work. The most important thing is to be with a person who makes you happy. Be with someone who makes life more vibrant and each day more exciting than the last. Nothing feels as good as experiencing love or hurts as bad as losing it. But it’s all part of life and it’s always teaching us something new about ourselves and what we need in a partnership. 

I’ve learned all about the kind of intensity I crave from a significant other. And I’ve also realized that there is no rush to find it. Because I know it will come when the timing is right. So I am grateful for love at either end of the spectrum- love lost and love gained.