Growing up, Chinese food was to my family what a Sunday Sauce is to Italians. Just with a lot less effort. Every Sunday night (& Christmas) my parents would order Chinese Food from the one local Chinese Restaurant in Monroe, NJ. Although we would sometimes talk about changing up the order, it almost always turned out the same. So, after all of these years, I’ve realized that your Chinese food choice says a lot about who you are. Take a look at the menu below to see what your choice says about your personality:
Chicken and Broccoli:
You might be a basic bitch but you know how to appreciate a classic. Those who always order Chicken and Broccoli are less likely to take risks and find themselves playing it on the safer side of take out. If you opt for this steamed with sauce on the side, you are probably more health conscious and also a bit more controlling.
How to spice it up: go for the combination plater, because let’s be real, you’re not that open to change.
Pu Pu Platter:
You like options and variety. You find more satisfaction in having a lot of different things as opposed to a lot of one thing. This mentality may also transpire into your dating life. As long as you’re not sharing the Pu Pu Platter for 2, you won’t have to worry about becoming possessive over the spare ribs. Just remember if you do, that in both take out and in life, you have to live with the choices you make.
Wonton Soup vs. Egg Drop Soup vs. Hot & Sour Soup
A person who orders Wonton Soup is smart, easy going, and definitely enjoys dumplings while the person who orders Egg Drop is a bit more mysterious and introverted. If you are a proponent of Hot & Sour Soup you are sexy but with a certain sour-like spunk that keeps those around you on their toes. You are certainly no stranger to giving the cold shoulder and side eyes. But at the end of the day, those who order Hot & Sour Soup can’t be trusted. If you mix the 3 together, you win Chinese Food and are the most fun ever.
White Rice vs. Brown Rice vs. Pork Fried Rice
You’ve come as far to order a combination platter and now you have a huge decision to make. Will you order White Rice and be the bland and boring person who doesn’t care to add any extra flavor to the experience? Or will you order Brown Rice and be just like the person who ordered White Rice just slightly more concerned about your fiber intake? Or will you be the Pork Fried Rice guy. Because the Pork Fried Rice Guy doesn’t mess around. The Pork Fried Rice guy knows what’s up. This guy knows that this rice will be way better on day 3 of leftovers than the white or brown will.
General Tso’s Chicken
You are a natural born leader. When it comes to confrontation, you fight to the end for your opinion to be heard and accepted. Your confidence leads you to come off as arrogant but those that know you best will expect you to end up falling asleep in a pile of empty beer cans you shot gunned and then crushed on your head. You’re also most likely to be the person starting U-S-A chants at tailgates.
Kung Pao Chicken or Beef
You’re hot, spicy and always down to take a ride on the wild side of the menu. You’re also willing to fight for what you want and kick anyone in your way to get it.
Kung Pao Shrimp
You’re all of the above but with an extra dose of exotic.
Egg Foo Young
You’re a morning person and you are always enthusiastic about breakfast for dinner. You also aren’t afraid to go down the road less traveled.
If you order Lo Mein, you like it hot or cold. You aren’t too difficult to please and are perfectly satisfied with eating it straight out of the fridge and posted up on your counter top. Fingers should not be substituted for chop sticks, but we know you’ve done it before. You like a lot of a good thing and will take it anyway you can.
Cold Sesame Noodles
For the true peanut butter person who adds that sh*t to everything, especially carbs. You’re a smooth talker and can start a conversation with anyone. You are also more than likely to be caught late night, sneaking spoonfuls of peanut butter straight out of the jar. You’ll more than likely talk yourself out of it and face zero consequences. Even if you double dipped.
You’re easy going and roll with the punches. There is a high probability that you also like duck sauce and have no idea how duck sauce got it’s name. But now you do.
Beef Chow Fun
You are the life of the party and are always ready to chow down in a fun environment. Your energy is built up by exciting experiences and you’re never the first one to leave the club.
This blog post is in no way scientifically factual, in fact, the only real sentence I stand by on this whole post is the following: there’s an 84% chance that you’re now hungry.